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By Dr. Patricia Kaye B. Regalado
Hospital duties
I was a third-year resident in Internal Medicine when my boyfriend and I finally decided to end our six-year relationship. That was in May 2020, early in the pandemic. Only two months had passed since lockdown protocols were implemented.
I went to my hospital duties with a different mindset. I felt anxious going to the hospital, thinking that for my tour of duty, I would be handling severe and critical COVID patients admitted at the ICU. I did not have a definite plan on how to survive every duty since not a lot was known about COVID yet. It was a relief to know that I was not the only one.
It was a tiring, roller-coaster ride every day in the hospital—from praying for a benign duty, feeling grateful for the provided PPE and free meals, to comforting the patients as well as the relatives who could not be with their loved ones during their hospital stay. Everything was new. But the loneliness was not new, only that it was of a different kind.
Being single during the pandemic hit me differently. To be honest, I was really looking for love—everywhere, every chance I could get. I was sad being alone. I knew I was tired after hospital duties. But being tired and lonely was too much for me.
I realized that the pandemic has created an abundance of single people. I tried dating again. All the restaurants were closed, and everyone was advised to stay at home. It was difficult to meet people, but I met new people from recommendations from my friends and from dating apps.
Dating apps
Difficult times called for difficult—and desperate—measures. I’d never imagined using dating apps to meet people, as if hospital duties and meeting all kinds of people from different walks of life were not enough. My friends were using the app, too. Dating apps were not as taboo as before. The people I met through the app were decent, and they shared the same interests as I did. It was a new way to connect to people, and it helped me a lot.
On meeting the right one
It wasn’t a walk in the park. My dating life was as tiring and as unpredictable as my hospital duties. I met a lot of people and made good connections. However, consistency was not as easy to maintain. The limited places to visit and restaurants to try were some of the endless excuses to not meet. How do you meet people when they’re all confined at home? How do I meet people when I’m consumed by my hospital duties? Traditional dating was history. Zoom dates were preferred. Transferring money to pay for Zoom dates and food deliveries were conventional. Seeing my date on the screen was the new normal. I couldn’t complain, but it was never the same. After about a hundred reasons and alibis given, I finally found the right one.
Buzzing Viber group
My Viber did not stop with the notifications. They asked the same question: How did you manage to find a boyfriend during this pandemic? It seemed a little complex. They even asked for dating tips.
Fidel did not know how to date at the start of the pandemic. That was all right. I did not know, too. We had our own excuses to not meet after the first date. “I have duty this weekend; I’m more toxic now, I have more patients to round,” I told him. I never really liked him.
He said, “I’m scared I might get COVID; I can’t go out because I don’t feel well. I think I have COVID.”
After a few restricted weekends spent with Fidel, we finally felt the right connection. It was different at first: two years into the pandemic, and here was someone who was the epitome of consistency.
How COVID gave me the best love
I’m now doing my fellowship in Infectious Diseases—more COVID cases, more reasons to not see me. But Fidel was different.
In a sense, COVID gave us opportunities for superficial relationships because of all the restrictions. It made us think that, perhaps, a potential deep and true love was impossible at this time.
However, the pandemic also gave the best reasons so Fidel could be the best boyfriend in the world for me. While restaurants were closed, he picked me up from the hospital with take-out food, or he made sure we passed by a drive-through to get something to eat. He knew how long my work days were.
Now he makes sure we still go on dates with al-fresco dining. He Googles these places lists them on paper. We don’t use Zoom for dates anymore. He shows up, every day and on time. He sits next to me and holds my hand—this has been the safest I had ever felt. He has brought me to places I have never been even before pandemic. He would send me a message: “I’m on my way to you.”
Patricia Kaye B. Regalado is a second-year infectious disease fellow at the UP–Philippine General Hospital. She says, “I have loved writing since I was in high school, but I stopped writing right before I entered college. I don’t know why—all I know now is I really miss it. Fidel, my boyfriend, is a professional golfer, and a very good one at that.”
By Dr. Michaela Ann Gonzales-Montalbo
My husband closed his laptop late that night. He had just finished one of the on-demand PCP videos from the last annual convention. On the adjacent table was my laptop streaming an international conference on food allergy.
"Do you think things will go back to face-to-face conferences?" he asked.
"Yeah," I absent-mindedly nodded, as I took a screenshot of a diagram.
"No, like 100% face to face? Without any virtual event?" He was getting ready for bed.
"No," I shook my head. I'm happy about how virtual conferences became a thing. I looked at him. "Guest speakers can just record their lectures, instead of chasing planes and adjusting their schedules for a face-to-face."
On my screen, an esteemed doctor admitted that he recorded his lecture while isolating in some resort, before he presented his disclosures.
"We can listen to multiple conferences at the same time," I said. I reminded him that we were both watching two different lectures a while ago. "And we can watch the videos again. Pause the video when we need to go to the bathroom, or when we need to write notes."
He agreed with me. "Things will be a hybrid then."
Virtual conference are convenient. On the other hand, I really miss lining up in booths and filling my big bag with free ballpoint pens and notebooks.
Technology has been keeping pace, even in quarantine. While in isolation, we found a way to adapt to the lack of personal communication with our families, friends and colleagues. The conferences pushed through. In the medical field, virtual consultation immediately became a thing.
When I started fellowship in Allergology and Immunology, my seniors told me that they saw most of their patients through teleconsults. Face-to-face consult, though, is starting to make a come back, little by little.
It’s amazing how it can be convenient for our patients, especially the elderly, and the immunocompromised, to be seen by a doctor immediately. They do not have to queue for a long time in the outpatient department. Instead, the patients can just wait for their teleconsult schedule in the comforts of their homes, shielded from the virus lingering outside their doorsteps.
But what makes teleconsult extra-challenging is the physical examination. I ask my patients to send pictures of their lesions, if they have any. But even so, not every photo is good and clear and contains all the needed details. Sometimes, I ask them to send their pictures multiple times. I also miss using my stethoscope. I want to hear the patients’ breath sounds or rhythmic lub-dub of their hearts.
There is also the rapport between a physician and his/her patient that may sometimes be lost when talking in front of screens. For instance, because I can’t see the patient fully, I can’t observe the walk, the hand gestures, the fidgeting, certain mannerisms. Those tiny details that give a clue about the patient I’m treating.
A glass barrier exists. It is cold and calculating, with its pixels and audio. And oh, sometimes, the internet has its own problems too. The words can come out like gibberish on another end. There are choppy stories, and so I have to ask the patient to repeat many sentences again and again.
The art of medicine can sometimes be lost in screens. Although teleconsult is a real convenience, nothing beats seeing patients face-to-face, shaking their hands, examining them personally. My medical diagnosis is not clouded by technical difficulties.
Looking back from the pre-pandemic and during the lockdown days, we have really evolved in our ways. The future of medicine is inevitably interwoven with the progress of technology. While it’s good to push further, it is also important to always look back to where we have been, and to never forget the basics.
Michaela Ann Gonzales-Montalbo, M.D. is an internist who graduated from Batangas Medical Center and is currently on her first year of fellowship of Allergology, Asthma and Immunology at Fe del Mundo Medical Center. She juggles her time between her fellowship duties, her mommy duties, and her passion in creating literary pieces.
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The Editorial StaffDr. Noel P. Pingoy - Chair & Editor in ChiefDr. Joey A. Tabula - Co-chair and Associate Editor
Associate Editors:Dr. Lance Isidore G. CatedralDr. Wilfredo L. LiangcoDr. Elvie Victonette B. Razon-Gonzalez
Champion Regent:Dr. Alex T. Junia
Editorial Assistants:Karen T. del RosarioJeremias AsumbradoRyan Mark Delos ReyesNoel Umpad JrJohn Benedict Cueto