Riding Tides: Finding love in this global pandemic

By Dr. Patricia Kaye B. Regalado

Hospital duties

I was a third-year resident in Internal Medicine when my boyfriend and I finally decided to end our six-year relationship. That was in May 2020, early in the pandemic. Only two months had passed since lockdown protocols were implemented.

I went to my hospital duties with a different mindset. I felt anxious going to the hospital, thinking that for my tour of duty, I would be handling severe and critical COVID patients admitted at the ICU. I did not have a definite plan on how to survive every duty since not a lot was known about COVID yet. It was a relief to know that I was not the only one.

It was a tiring, roller-coaster ride every day in the hospital—from praying for a benign duty, feeling grateful for the provided PPE and free meals, to comforting the patients as well as the relatives who could not be with their loved ones during their hospital stay. Everything was new. But the loneliness was not new, only that it was of a different kind.

Being single during the pandemic hit me differently. To be honest, I was really looking for love—everywhere, every chance I could get. I was sad being alone. I knew I was tired after hospital duties. But being tired and lonely was too much for me.

I realized that the pandemic has created an abundance of single people. I tried dating again. All the restaurants were closed, and everyone was advised to stay at home. It was difficult to meet people, but I met new people from recommendations from my friends and from dating apps.

Dating apps

Difficult times called for difficult—and desperate—measures. I’d never imagined using dating apps to meet people, as if hospital duties and meeting all kinds of people from different walks of life were not enough. My friends were using the app, too. Dating apps were not as taboo as before. The people I met through the app were decent, and they shared the same interests as I did. It was a new way to connect to people, and it helped me a lot.

On meeting the right one

It wasn’t a walk in the park. My dating life was as tiring and as unpredictable as my hospital duties. I met a lot of people and made good connections. However, consistency was not as easy to maintain. The limited places to visit and restaurants to try were some of the endless excuses to not meet. How do you meet people when they’re all confined at home? How do I meet people when I’m consumed by my hospital duties? Traditional dating was history. Zoom dates were preferred. Transferring money to pay for Zoom dates and food deliveries were conventional. Seeing my date on the screen was the new normal. I couldn’t complain, but it was never the same. After about a hundred reasons and alibis given, I finally found the right one.

Buzzing Viber group

My Viber did not stop with the notifications. They asked the same question: How did you manage to find a boyfriend during this pandemic? It seemed a little complex. They even asked for dating tips.

Fidel did not know how to date at the start of the pandemic. That was all right. I did not know, too. We had our own excuses to not meet after the first date. “I have duty this weekend; I’m more toxic now, I have more patients to round,” I told him. I never really liked him.

He said, “I’m scared I might get COVID; I can’t go out because I don’t feel well. I think I have COVID.”

After a few restricted weekends spent with Fidel, we finally felt the right connection. It was different at first: two years into the pandemic, and here was someone who was the epitome of consistency.

How COVID gave me the best love

I’m now doing my fellowship in Infectious Diseases—more COVID cases, more reasons to not see me. But Fidel was different.

In a sense, COVID gave us opportunities for superficial relationships because of all the restrictions. It made us think that, perhaps, a potential deep and true love was impossible at this time.

However, the pandemic also gave the best reasons so Fidel could be the best boyfriend in the world for me. While restaurants were closed, he picked me up from the hospital with take-out food, or he made sure we passed by a drive-through to get something to eat. He knew how long my work days were.

Now he makes sure we still go on dates with al-fresco dining. He Googles these places lists them on paper. We don’t use Zoom for dates anymore. He shows up, every day and on time. He sits next to me and holds my hand—this has been the safest I had ever felt. He has brought me to places I have never been even before pandemic. He would send me a message: “I’m on my way to you.”

Patricia Kaye B. Regalado is a second-year infectious disease fellow at the UP–Philippine General Hospital. She says, “I have loved writing since I was in high school, but I stopped writing right before I entered college. I don’t know why—all I know now is I really miss it. Fidel, my boyfriend, is a professional golfer, and a very good one at that.”

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